Bah Bah Black Sheep

Every family has a black sheep, I happen to be my families. This isn't because of the reasons that come to mind when you hear the description, "Black sheep". I am not perpetually rebellious, I do not have excessive tattoos or piercings, I haven't even ever been sent to the principles office. I am my families black sheep based on the observation that I stand out from what they propose as normal, and dream of being different. 

My dreams are to travel abroad to sub-saharan Africa, helping oppressed women and children there while living a remarkably, unconventional life. This is scary for my mother, and for the other members of my family because this means I don't fit in with the societal flock. For the life of me I cannot convey the love I have for my dreams, and how much drive I have to accomplish them. There is no way I can change the perspective of another person. That’s the bad news, it’s rarely  simple to change someone’s worldview. To those on the outside, examples of successful non-conformists aren’t very persuasive, because they’ll always find reasons why someone else’s success can’t be replicated.

The good news is though is that I can influence my families opinion through my actions, and by leading with my ambitions. I have had to realize that they will never change their outlooks on conformity through arguments about the meaning of money, success, and education. But if I show the success I can bring about for myself through following my dreams, people just cannot help but notice someones persistent/determined spirit. My mother used to tell me that I have a bright light about me, and I always thought that  was just the motherly love she had for me talking. She is a wonderfully optimistic person, but she is scared of one thing; that is that her daughter will make mistakes that will effect her future negatively. She worries about me because I am so unsatisfied with the status-quo. I think this is a very common obstacle for people like me, people who are in search of something more.

** mom, if your reading this...whatever light you say I have, I got from you, but I am using it in a different way; to light the way for others.**

The challenge I face, and I think many others face as well, is to be courageous in the face of opposition from those who love you. This is no small challenge, since you would much rather fight bad guys, dragons, terrorists or something that is clearly evil. Your family isn’t evil and you probably can’t ignore them, but you also can’t ignore your dreams for very long without letting them die.

Some battles are better won by example than by persuasion. You can talk forever about the adventure you’d like to take, why you want to study a subject you’re interested in instead of one they think would lead to better career options, or whatever. And by following this well-trod path, you may make marginally incremental progress in the form of compromise.

All I can do is explain through my actions that these are my dreams, and I am holding onto them with both hands. If that means I am unconventional, naive, or a black sheep in your understanding. I don't mind the marginalization, more often than not, they’ll get used to it over time. I'll eventually earn my right to freedom, and maybe even some grudging respect.

"Then they’ll say, oh, there goes _____ again. That’s just what she does. Or they’ll think, _____ has another crazy idea… but the last one worked out pretty well for her." 

I predict though that a funny thing will happen, they may learn from the decisions I have made , and how I stepped out and faced down my fears. Maybe they will realize that some of my fears have to do with them, but by then it wont matter. 

So for those of you in small towns, or in cultures where non-conformity is implicitly misunderstood, or for anyone else who feels pressured to be like those around them, it’s all up to you to lead by example. Who knows, maybe some of your family will end up changing with you. Wouldn’t that be something?